How do I trust God when I don’t feel close to Him?

Jan 9

If God is God, then we trust Him regardless of our feelings. Right? I mean, He’s God. Here is a short list of attributes He possesses based on Scripture:

Immutable – Big word that means unchanging (Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8)
Omniscient – Big word that means all-knowing (Psalm 147:5; 1 Chronicles 28:9)
Faithful – (Greek: pistos) trustworthy (Lamentations 3:22-23; Romans 3:1-4)

God’s promises hinge on His unchanging character, so we can trust that they are unwavering and will never be broken. On the other hand, people waver. We break promises and struggle with fidelity.

“Men become unfaithful out of desire, fear, weakness, loss of interest, or because of some strong influence from without.” A.W. Tozier

How do I trust God when I don’t feel close to Him?

What can be said about feelings?

Feelings can, when handled rightly, reflect our Creator.
Feelings can be grounded in truth or lies.
Feelings can stem from unwarranted or valid emotions.
Feelings are ever-changing.
Feelings can be “red flags” inspiring us to stop, go, yield, change, and grow.
Feelings are real.

THE FEELS:
“I don’t FEEL like doing ____ (my job, chores, homework, life, etc.).”
“I’m FEELing ____ (angry, nervous, sad, joyful, tired, anxious, uncomfortable, etc.).”

The Problem: When feelings come, we oftentimes respond with a knee-jerk reaction rather than a thoughtful reply.

The Solution: Allow feelings to the do the job they are meant to do by asking the simple question… Why? The answer to your “why” (if you’re being completely honest) should dictate the response to your feelings. Below are a few examples:

Scenario 1
Question: Why don’t I FEEL like doing my job?
Answer: I don’t FEEL like doing my job because the weather is nice, and I’d rather be hanging out with friends.
Right Response: It would be great to be independently wealthy and not have to work, but that’s not my situation. Therefore, if I want to keep my job, I better do my job. This is adulting, like it or not.
Scenario 2
Question: Why don’t I FEEL like doing my job?
Answer: I don’t FEEL like doing my job because my co-worker got a raise, and I did not.
Right Response: I need to set up a meeting with my boss and see what I need to do to get a raise.
Scenario 3
Question: Why don’t I FEEL like doing my job?
Answer: I don’t FEEL like doing my job because my dog died last week, and I can’t stop thinking about her.
Right Response: I’m allowed to feel sad about Fifi-Fluffinutter for a long time, but I can’t let my emotions control my productivity. I will make a list of the things I’ll do when my feelings start to rise up.
Sample list: Cry – It’s okay to cry. Bring extra mascara to work; When I get home, I will express all my feelings on the pages of my journal; Call Mom after work; Use the thousands of pics I took of FF to create a memorial book.
Scenario 4
Question: Why don’t I FEEL like doing my job?
Answer: I’m tired because I only got five hours of sleep last night.
Right Response:I’m going to do whatever it takes to get to the end of the day (take a walk, drink a cup of coffee, power nap). Tonight, I will be in bed by 10:00.

Working through the FEELS is not a one-size-fits-all approach. We are individuals with unique circumstances who respond to life’s challenges differently. Therefore, we must look within to better understand why we FEEL the way we do. Two helpful tools include the Emotional Scale and the Feelings Train.

Tool 1: Emotional Scale

When you’re facing a FEELINGS issue, it is wise to know where you typically fall on the Emotional Scale.

Emotional Scale | Image by teacherspayteachers via Pinterest

People whose FEELINGS escalate into the 8-10 range (see scale) quickly and regardless of the issue lack emotional self-control. Their feelings should be weighed against this reality when asking the “why” question. They should always allow their emotions to deescalate before dealing with the issue at hand.

People whose FEELINGS fall in the medium range (5-7) should investigate their “why” with the same insight as above. However, because they have more control over their emotions, they may be able to deal with problems as they come. They should always keep an eye on their “temperature” rising.
People whose FEELINGS range from 1-4 usually don’t have to worry about their emotions taking over and can typically handle problems as they come. However, if they lack appropriate emotion, they should be aware that others may rightly feel stronger about something than they do.

Tool 2: Feelings Train

I love the Feelings Train because it helps align what we are feeling with what is Biblically true. Of the three cars, the ENGINE is the only one that has the power to move the train forward. The PASSENGER car (in the middle) is where those in Christ stand (Hebrews 11:1). They should always be facing forward, trusting God through the power of His Word to take them where they need to go. The CABOOSE is where our feelings ride. They are important and can inform our faith, but they do not have the power to move us in the right direction when they are not filtered through FAITH and FACTS.

Feelings Train | Image by biblequery.org via Pinterest

To put it simply, by turning toward our FEELINGS and ignoring the FACTS, our trains and FAITH will stall out. If we allow our FEELINGS to inform our FAITH and align those FEELINGS with the FACTS (God’s Word), we will move in the direction of God’s will for our lives and continue to grow in the image and likeness of Jesus.

TAKE A RIDE ON THE FEELINGS TRAIN: Consider any personal or cultural topic that impacts your emotions. These may include relationships, abortion, money, LGBTQ+, immigration, sex, environment, freedom, equality, democracy, marriage, sin, beauty, etc.

If you are a follower of Jesus, you can rightly respond to these emotional topics by attacking them with FACTS rather than FEELINGS.

Example: My partner and I want to have sex but we’re not married.
- THE WORLD tells me I’m crazy not to. After all, what if we’re not sexually compatible? FACT: I am not to conform to the world’s patterns (Romans 12:2). I am in the world but not of the world (John 17:14-16).
- MY FEELINGS want me to believe that sex is just an extension of our love.
FACT: I am to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18) and recognize these feelings for what they are, the lust of the flesh (1 John 2:16-17).
- THE BIBLE teaches in Hebrews 13:4 that the marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure. It says that God will judge the adulterer and sexually immoral. A deeper dive into this subject helps us understand God’s plan and desire for sex (Acts 15:20, 1 Corinthians 5:1, 6:13, 7:2, 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 1:7; Revelation 21:8).

Now that the groundwork is laid, we can look at the question: How do I trust God when I don’t FEEL close to Him?

Acknowledge that your FEELings do not determine TRUTH. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9
Acknowledge that just because you don’t FEEL close doesn’t mean that God is not close. In fact, the Word tells us He is with us wherever we are (Hebrews 13:5; Matthew 28:20; John 14:25-26; Deuteronomy 31:6).
Read the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) and ask yourself the following questions:

Do you think the younger son’s feelings had anything to do with the choices he made? Why or why not?
Who moved away from the relationship, the father or the son?
How does God reflect the father in this story of the Prodigal Son when we run from our relationship with Him?
What did the prodigal do to FEEL close to his father again?
What must we do to FEEL close to our Father again?

Final thoughts

If you don’t FEEL close to God, is it because you’ve allowed something to come between you? If so, root out and remove the obstacle.
When you don’t FEEL close to God, continue to live in obedience to God. Pray, worship, read the Bible, and surround yourself with Christian community. Do not allow temporary feelings to become a foothold for Satan (Ephesians 4:27).